It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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