We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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