girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's great music for shaving your balls
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
