I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize