Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
