Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
