I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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