the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
try to milk me bitch
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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