It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
