At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
