Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize