I want to have your abortion
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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