peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
