i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
