she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
