A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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