her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
