everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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