I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
