This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
