u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
