David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
