WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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