wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
