I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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