That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
