i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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