I want to have your abortion
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
