I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
