people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
