Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
