Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she looked like the before picture.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
