I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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