All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
