You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
