singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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