i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
