I am in a vortex of obligation.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So much Jack, so little girl.
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