I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
