when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
