Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
