i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
