I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
