my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
