I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
