Screwed.edu
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
they're like a gay fantastic four
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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