Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's blow job season.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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