well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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