i think i have herpe
just one?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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