we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize