Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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