either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
