So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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