just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he fucked my hip out of place.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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