I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
drinking out of a sandbucket again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
