did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I deserve this hangover.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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