how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
