is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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