How'd it feel making her break her religion?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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