My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
